Dating and sex timeline
Unfortunately, if you are dating a man, I do think that old school waiting game sometimes does work.I love Ali Wong's standup special where she talks about meeting her husband and making him wait for anything physical: "I knew that he was a catch, so I was, like, 'All right, Ali, you gotta make this dude believe that your body is a secret garden. Conclusion: If you only want to be f*cking them, tell them before getting caught up in the complications of coitus.reference in here and remind you of when Charlotte did this and it turned out her husband was impotent so...Lisa Concepcion: It’s not really a matter of time as much as it is a matter of data collection.Meaning, you want to get clear on what you are looking for in a partner, then determine if the person possesses those qualities before things get physical.cool.)You could also just be straightforward as F and tell them, "Yo, I'm not sleeping with you unless we are exclusive," and then if they say no, you can accept it.Say "OK," and continue going down on each other or making out horizontally or 69-ing and see where things go from there. Even if you are looking for a relationship, you might not care about exclusivity. Plus, there are definitely stories about long-time hookups turned marriages.When you are in the moment on a date and you’re attracted to the person physically, it’s easy to be swept up in romance.This is when it is most important to hit the brakes.
If you are getting over a breakup, living in a new city, or trying to get it in after a vibrator-punctuated dry-spell, you should feel zero shame about finding someone to sleep with. Be a Samantha (still not a perfect model of feminism, for the record).
(Sorry, just being real here.)Do whatever you feel like on the third date.
Maybe you've boned every date by the third date, or maybe you haven't even kissed yet, whatevski.
OK, now that that is taken care of, let's see which theory holds up.
(Spoiler alert: They all do.)Can I get an "archaaaaic AF"? If you are dating someone who is in it to win it (have sex) and that's it, they will wait the smushing out until to the third date, or fifth date, or eleventh date, and disappear no matter what if that was their plan. Your date might catch feels while waiting out your eleventh date rule, but that feels a little bit like you are trying to mouse trap your partner. A person who wants to get to know you beyond the sex won't care if you both fall into bed together on a second date rather than holding out for a third date. If a person is turned off by how soon you have sex with them, they're probably not going to be amazing when you poop the table during the birth of your first child.The Cheat Sheet reached out to Lisa Concepcion, relationship expert and founder of Love Quest Marketing, to get her take on how to decide when the time is right.